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Hands Off My Ballz: When Politics Go Too Far… Into Our Snacks

They’ve come for our cannabis.

They’ve come for our wellness.

Now they want our BALLZ?


Texas, we have a problem—and his name is Dan Patrick.


While most Texans are trying to live, heal, and vibe in peace, Lt. Gov. Dan and his prohibition-era buddies are pushing Senate Bill 3 (SB3)—a bill that would criminalize hemp-derived THC products, gut small businesses like ours, and make infused desserts like Hiyas Ballz a felony.Yes, a felony.For cake.


So we made a shirt.Not just any shirt—one that screams:


✋ “Hands Off My Ballz”

Because we’re tired of politicians touching things they don’t understand.

Like the economy. Or science. Or consent.

And especially our plant medicine.


A woman in a "Hands Off My Ballz" shirt holds products in a formal event. A podium, officials, and flags are in the background. Mood is formal.
I personally think that Lt Dan could benefit from a cake ball or two... Might get help pull his head out of his ass.

💥 WTF Is SB3, Really?

SB3 is a bill that would:

  • Ban all hemp-derived THC products (even federally legal ones like Delta-8 and compliant Delta-9)

  • Destroy access to natural alternatives for anxiety, sleep, and pain

  • Hand a monopoly to the 3 licensed cannabis corporations under Texas’ TCUP program

  • Wipe out thousands of small Texas businesses (like, oh, say… ours)


Meanwhile, the same lawmakers:

✅ Support liquor sales on every corner

✅ Take campaign donations from Big Alcohol and Pharma

✅ Preach “freedom” while banning the most Texas thing of all: independence

Make it make sense.


🛍️ Why We Made the Shirt

Because when peaceful protest tastes like German Chocolate and Banana Pudding Ballz, sometimes you also need a wearable middle finger. These shirts are:

  • Soft.

  • Spicy.

  • Politically charged.

  • And the perfect uniform for anyone who’s fed up and 0.3% compliant.

Wear it to the farmers market.

Wear it to vote.

Wear it while eating 100mg of sweet civil disobedience.



🗳️ Take Action While You Snack

💣 Sign the petition to tell Governor Abbott to VETO SB3:


📢 Buy a shirt.

👕 Wear your resistance.

🧁 Eat your protest.

And Support your local business before Dan Patrick ruins the party.


Because this isn’t just about snacks. It’s about sovereignty.


And seriously, Dan...Keep your hands off our damn Ballz.




 
 
 

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